Seven Allens

"Five Years Have Come and Gone..."

2009-10-07T12:16:00.000-07:00

"Robert Shirrel Sellers ~ Sept. 24, 1937 - Oct. 6, 2004"

Five years have come and gone since my dad suffered a massive stroke and died...I can't believe it has been that long. It seems like two parallel universes...one where my dad was alive and with us...and one where his is not! It is like living in two different movies...I don't know any way else how to explain it! I remember the last time that I talked to him...he was at Kinkos and he called me to tell me that he was being taken to the hospital because he was experiencing chest pains. He asked me if I could get a hold of my mom and let her know...because he couldn't reach her. Earlier that morning...he was in an extra good mood...he took the time to smile and joke with the crossing guard...and he wasn't grumpy...like he normally was. It was as if his spirit knew that it would be his last hours on earth...and it wanted to savor every last minute. My mom made it to the hospital...and he seemed ok...except for some slurred speach and balance problems...even an average jo blow could figure out that he was possibly experiencing a stroke...but for some reason the hospital only x-rayed his chest and hot his head. My mom left him for a short while to come home and change...and by the time she came back to the hospital...he had stopped breathing and was put onto life support. The last thing that he said to my mom was, "Hurry up and come back...so we can watch the presidential debate together" - then he was gone. They put him into ICU and kept him on life support...and told us that he needed to be transferred to St. Joseph's hospital...even then we all thought that he would pull through...and that everything would be okay! Around 1:00 am in the morning, my mom, myself (and cosette), Tricia, and Jason went to St. Joseph's to wait for an update on his condition. We waited in the lobby and we were in really good spirits...we laughed and joked about all of the times that my dad had checked himself into a hospital because he thought something was wrong...only to find out that he was a hypochondriac. We honestly didn't realize how bad off he really was! Jason went to the snack machine to get me some crackers, and in the time that he was gone...the Dr. came out to let us know where we stood. He was quite rude and blurted out that my Dad was basicly brain dead and had zero chance of recovery...he told us that my dad had a massive stroke and had bled throughout his brain...then he left...just like that. There was NO compassion or comfort offered by this man...who called himself a doctor! Jason arrived back from his errand to see all of us weeping and distraught...his smile from earlier faded into confusion and then realization...it stunned all of us! They kept my dad on life support until all of my brothers and sisters could make it to the hospital to say goodbye. I said my goodbye the next morning...I didn't want to watch him die...I wanted to remember him alive! I told him in his ear that I loved him...and that while he and I didn't always see eye to eye...I was grateful that he had been my earthly father! I told him to hang in there...and keep fighting through his issues...so we could once more be reunited as a family...to live together forever! Jonathan was 8 years old at the time...and he was so sweet! When David told the kids to get ready...so that they could say goodbye to their Grandpa...Jonathan went and got on the suit that we had bought him for his baptism. He wanted to look his very best to say goodbye to his Grandpa...David said that when he saw Jonathan get dressed up...it touched him...and he decided to dress a little better too! That night everyone within my immediate family gathered around my dad...and the nurses slowly removed his life support. They each told him goodbye...and waited until his spirit crossed over into his eternal reward. I do not regret my decision to stay away...I have much better memories of him alive...instead of dead! I went to my voice class...and sang "Oh Shanendoah" - I couldn't even make it through the whole song...I cracked when I got to the part "I long to see you...away you rolling river"! To this day whenever I hear that song...I think of my Dad...and his passing. I'm so grateful for my earthly father...and every day...I still hold a prayer in my heart...that my dad is up there watching over us...and working through whatever needs be...so that he will be able to be with us for eternity! I have faith in him...and I know that I will see him again someday! Time goes by so quickly...five years have come and gone...and I'm amazed at how different life is without my father! I'm grateful for temple marriage...and look forward to the day that I can run into his arms once more...and let him know how much he meant too me! Never forget to tell your loved ones how much you love them...never take the chance that you might not get to see them again in this life...life is too short and too quick to change...to ever take a chance like that! May whoever reads this rejoice in their family...whether ther are close to them or not...in the end...all we have is our family and close friends...so never take them for granted! ~ Christina

"Jesus Wept"

2009-10-04T23:46:00.000-07:00

I went over to my sister Tricia's house on Saturday night...while David and Jonathan were at Priesthood Session...and watched the movie "Charly" with my kids and nieces. It has been a LONG time since I have seen that movie...but nevertheless it brought me to tears once more. It is not necessarily the suffering that takes place when they find out that the main character is dying of cancer and leaving behind her husband and young child...but more the picture that Charly (the main character) paints of the Savior - when he comes to Lazarus's tomb. The Savior is comforting Mary and Martha...and he is weeping at the loss of his friend Lazarus. In the movie it explains that Charly's picture represents a loving Savior who did not diminish his friend's pain...but instead wept openly with them! He knew that moments later he would raise Lazarus from the dead...and that their tears were premature and would turn into true joy when their brother walked forward from his tomb...yet he wept with them. This hits me to the core of my heart...it represents to me the very essence of the Savior's heart and love for each of us! "Jesus Wept" what more beautiful words can you hear...they envelop so much more then just their obvious meaning! The Savior is not just a man who lived and died for our sins...but he is very much a part of our lives now! He watches over us...and feels every emotion that we feel...he understands each one of us to the depth of our hearts and soul! He laughs when we laugh, cries when we cry, and picks us up when we fall! He asks so very little of us...only that we turn our heart to him each day...let him be in control of our lives...and to trust that even when we don't understand why we must suffer through whatever comes our way...that we are NOT alone...and that he is with us every step of the way! I like watching Charly...because it wakens something deep within me...that gets pushed aside with the crazy, every day activities that threaten to make me forget. Get up, wake up the kids, get them breakfast, get them dressed, change diapers, pile them in the car and take them to school, come home and clean up the house, put your littlest one down for a nap, pick the kids up from school, help them with their homework, get them dinner, spend quality time with them, and go to bed...wake up and start the process all over again! How easy it is to forget that I am a daughter of God who loves me...who cherishes my thoughts, desires, my hopes and my dreams! How often I feel so alone...when I am always just a prayer away from my loving Heavenly Father and older brother! I don't want to forget the feelings that watching Charly envokes...I won't to hold onto them...to cherish them...to breathe deeply and let them overcome my soul! I'm so grateful for a Heavenly Father who loves me...even when I sometimes do not love myself! I'm grateful that even when I forget him...he NEVER forgets me! I'm grateful for an older brother who gave everything he had...and suffered so greatly that I could live again...and be made clean thru his blood! Jesus Wept...I don't know if there have ever been two more beautiful words...and I pray that one day I may be given the opportunity to kneel at his side...and bathe his feet with my tears! Tears of gratitude for all of the times he wept with me...for all of the times that he picked me up when I could no longer walk and gave me strength beyond my own. My heart is so full at this moment...and I pray that I may engrave the words: "Jesus Wept" upon the very center of it...so that those beautiful words and the overwhelming gratitude and love that I feel for my older brother will NEVER be forgotten! In the name of him whom I serve and dedicate my life too...even my savior, Jesus Christ, AMEN! ~ Christina Allen

"Eight is Great"

2009-06-12T19:47:00.000-07:00

It is funny how your kids grow up right before your eyes...and yet it seems like they were always the age that they are now at. It is almost like we are living simultaneous lifetimes together. I remember Jared as a baby...but it is almost like a parallel universe to him being baptized now. The best example that I can give of this is: life before my dad passed away...and life now. It is almost like when he was still with us...it was a different movie being played...and then when he passed on...the movie changed. It is like he was always alive...and then again always gone from our lives. Hopefully, that explains what I'm trying to say about Jared being eight years old. Jared has such a sweet spirit and tender heart...he cares so much about those who suffer and who have died...especially young. I pray that he will always remain so child-like and open to the spirit. He's changing from my little boy...to a little man! I couldn't be more proud of him...neither could David! He is so cute in his baptism clothes! EIGHT IS GREAT!!

"Glomerulonephritis"

2009-04-30T01:49:00.000-07:00

I know that I've said this before...but Jared is such a character...and a tremendously sweet little boy! He used to introduce himself to everyone that he met by saying, "Hi, I'm Jared Allen Michael!" I never tire of his crazy antics or his tender heart! A few weeks ago...he went to the bathroom and forgot to flush the toilet...thank goodness that he didn't...because when I looked into the toilet bowl...the liqued was a brown color. This concerned me a bit...and I set an appointment for his primary care doctor to see him...They said that he had blood and protein in his urine...and put him on some antibiotics...plus sent him out for futher blood tests. I didn't think much more of it...except that when his blood tests came back...they said that his potassium levels were high...and that he was anemic. He finished the antibiotics...and within a day his urine was brown again...I took him back and they put him on a different antibiotic. In the meantime...I asked for his lab results...and when I got them...I faxed them to David's parents...so that they could go over them with Jared's Great Uncle John (who is a doctor). Uncle John said to take him to the emergency room immediatly...because he was in the beginning stages of renal failure...you can imagine how I took that news. I rushed him in...and had a heck of a time getting the attending physician to understand why I had brought him to the E.R. when Jared felt no pain...and had no signs of bodily trauma. They did further testing and found out that sometime in the past few weeks...Jared had to have had a strep infecction...and afterward...the strep antibodies started attacking the blood vessels that filter the blood through the kidneys...it is a LONG word that I can't even pronounce...but it is calle Glomerulonnephritis. The antibiotics usually take care of it...but it takes a good three months to a year for him to fully recooperate. He was such a good sport...several times he had to have blood drawn...and he didn't even flinch. He just sat there and watched the tubes fill up with his blood...11 of them to be exact on one occasion! He is pretty much back to normal...no brown urine...but it extemely tired because he lost a signifigant amount of red blood cells...thus the anemia. He was given a priesthood blessing by his Dad and Uncle Zyad...and promised that the disfunction in his body would leave and that he would heal up. A few times...I have to admit...I was afraid that it might be worse then it turned out to be...blood in the urine...is just not a good thing! I kept praying...please Heavenly Father...please do not take him now...I'm not ready to let him go. It was a scarey couple of weeks...but I am ever grateful that the Lord has watched out for Jared...and that he is in the process of healing now. We still have some specialist doctor appointments to go too...but at least I know what is wrong with him...and that it is on it's way to healing. I'm thankful for the peace that the Lord gave to my heart throughout this whole situation...and I'm so grateful for my sweet Jared...who endures pain well...and doesn't even complain! Life would NOT be as fun and fullfilling without him in our lives! He is the laughter in our hearts and the joy in our lives! LOVE YOU JARED...MAY YOU NEVER CHANGE FROM THE SWEET, FUNNY, LITTLE BOY THAT YOU ARE TODAY...MY SON! ~Mom

"The List"

2009-03-15T01:29:00.000-07:00

A few years ago...I made a "list" of things that I wanted to do before I die...some of them are worldly desires...and some of them are more spiritual in nature. One of the things that I wanted to do was go to see the PRICE is RIGHT show before Bob Barker retired. Sure enough...I made plans with David and a good friend, Jennifer and her husband, and we all packed our things and headed off to Burbank California. Jen and I camped out in line all night (while our husbands got to sleep in the hotel no less) and waited for the blessed event of turning in our tickets the next morning to be selected to see the show. There were hundreds of people in line...and it wasn't the most comfortable accomodations...but it was a night to remember! (It is also a night I wouldn't like to repeat anytime soon...LOL!) Anyway the sun finally peeked it's head...and Jennifer, myself, and our husbands got the privilege of turning in our tickets for numbers...and then got to wait in line for 5 more hours before the show started. IT WAS ALL WORTH IT!! I have watched the Price is Right since I was a little kid...and to be in the studio audience was surreal! We slept for 18 hours straight after the end of the show...I guess we really needed it. One of the other "worldly" desires was to see Celine Dion live in concert someday...I was able to do that this past February! My 10 year old daughter, Lilli, watched the life story of Celine Dion...and fell in love with her too! I looked her up on the internet...and found out that we had missed her concert in Phoenix...and that the nearest location was Salt Lake City. I enrolled my best friend, Tonya, into coming with us...and we made the plans and purchased our airline tickets. We planned our trip with enough advance notice...that we were able to get things pretty cheap! We got a rental car for 3 days for only $47...then I was able to book a nice hotel for only $37/night...and finally we were able to get tickets to Salt Lake City for only $84/ one way! I really felt like the Lord was blessing our efforts...as I asked him to help make this trip possible. When the trip finally arrived...we packed our bags...and got on the plane...and then arrived in Salt Lake City. We were able to set up accomodations for my daughter Lilli...with her favorite cousin, Jane...that way she was able to stay occupied and not get bored! It was a tough trip...and along the way...Lilli continued to complain...or make things difficult for myself and Tonya. Perhaps, she felt like she didn't have my undivided attention...and that is why she was lashing out. I questioned if I had done the right thing by bringing her...but when we got to the concert...and I saw her face light up with happiness when Celine came on stage...a sweet spirit came over me...and I knew that I had done the right thing. I wanted Lilli to know that her dreams were important to me...and to have the memory of sharing that dream with her mom...if hard times ever come. When we got home...we had a family home evening...and David asked if anybody had anything that they wanted to say...Lilli surprised me by raising her hand...she then proceeded to explain that she was sorry for her bad behavior during our trip...and how grateful she was that her mother listened to her...and helped her accomplish one of her dreams. She wept...and I wept with her! We embraced...and I told her how grateful I was to have a daughter like her...that we may not always get a long...but that she is important to me...and I do hear the desires of her heart...and do my best to meet them. I was so grateful that the Lord provided a way that we could both have our needs met...and both experience a "dream" coming true together! I will never forget this experience as long as I live. I was also so grateful that my best friend came a long...I really believe that she helped soften my heart while Lilli was lashing out...so I didn't react in the wrong way to her behavior...and ruin the trip for all of us. I am mostly grateful for my sweet daughter...and especially for her tender feelings that she shared with our whole family when she got home...regarding her gratitude for "me" her mother! I think that everybody should have a "list" of things to do before they die! I think it makes life worth living...and gives us something to look forward too! Things may come and go on the list...some of them we may fullfill and some we may decide not too...but at least at the end of our lives...we can say we lived to the fullest...and accomplished our dreams! The following is a list of some of the things that I would like to do before I die:

1) Take my whole family to Hawaii and spend several days vacationing there!

2) Have the opportunity to sing in the Mormon Tabernacle Choir!

3) Learn Spanish...and have a chance to serve a Spanish Speaking mission with David!

4) Be in one of my favorite musicals...such as "Secret Garden" or "Miss Saigon"!

5) Go to New York City and see a musical on Broadway!

6) See Adamondiaman!

7) Publish a book of poems or a novel!

8) Ride really fast on a motorcycle down the freeway!

9) Bring my kids to their Savior...and teach them what the true atonement means in their
lives!

10) See each of my kids happily married for time and all eternity in the temple!

11) Live to my fullest potential...and touch as many lives as I was meant to touch!

* I'm sure that this list will continue to change from time to time...as my desires change...I will update it as it does! May you all live life to it's fullest...and may all your dreams come true!
~Christina

"Tantrums"

2009-01-11T15:50:00.000-08:00

Today when we came home from church...my kids were ravished with hunger...especially my four year old...Cosette. Usually...she is such a gentile and loving child...but she definitely has a "Mr. Hyde" side to her as well! LOL! I was trying to make sandwiches as fast as I could for the hungry wolves at my feet...but apparantly...I wasn't fast enough for Cosette. She started screaming and hitting me...and I patiently kept working on her sandwich...and telling her to calm down...it would be there soon...but that didn't do anything for her. She finally started telling me that she hated me...and that I was poopoo...and that was all I could take. I was able to stay calm and explain to her that I understood she was hungry and upset...but that I couldn't allow her to be rude to me...especially when I was doing something nice for her. I told her that her sandwich was ready for her whenever she wanted it...but that I needed her to apologize for what she said...and to do something nice for me. I gave her the very small task of picking up a few toys in the kitchen and putting them away into her bedroom...and then she could have her sandwich after she apologized for what she said. Cosette would have no part in my compromise...she just kept hitting me and screaming. It was quite heart breaking...to see my sweet little girl...who I knew was starving...refuse to be comforted...and insist on continuing her tantrum. I tried to pick her up into my arms to calm her down...and show her that she was loved...but she wouldn't let me hold her. She just kept pushing me away. I knew that if I gave in...she would learn that it was okay to treat the people who loved her and served her with disrespect and rudeness. It saddened me to see her in so much pain...and yet all she had to do was her part...to gain all that she wanted. Finally, after what seemed like forever...she calmed down enough to let me hold her and comfort her tears. She cried in my arms for a little bit...and then she went on her way...all better... to devour her sandwich and fill her empty tummy. The tantrum may have been over...but my mind was just beginning to process what just happened...and let it all in. The thought came to me...that there are times that even adults need to have tantrums. There are times that we feel let down by others or even our Heavenly Father...and we are angry or sad inside...but we hold onto the feelings...because it isn't appropriate to express those kinds of emotions. We cling to them and push away anything that may be within our reach to heal our wounds and help us forgive those who have trespassed against our hearts. Maybe a brother or sister really hurt us...or maybe the Lord was not there for us in the way that we felt like we needed him to be...and so rather then have our little temper tantrums...and work thru those feelings...and then purge them from our hearts...we just "stuff" them or surround ourselves with mental walls...so we do not get hurt again. I can just see the Lord...standing there...begging us to allow him to comfort our pain...but he can't because we haven't had our temper tantrums to let go of the negative feelings...in order to allow him to fill our hearts with positive feelings. The Lord can't comfort us...until we are ready to allow him too! If we would just let our angry or sad feelings out...then we would purge the darkness...and allow in the light to make us whole. I pray that we will all be able to let the Lord in...to make us complete and soothe the agony and pain that we suffer without his presence. ~ Christina

"A New Year's Resolution"

2009-01-01T02:31:00.000-08:00

That time of year is here again...the time when we all take an inner look inside...and see what we can purge from our lives in order to be a better person. I think that I have about 30 lbs. to lose...but then again...who doesn't! LOL! I think back on this past year...and I wonder what I could of done differently...maybe even better. In the past three years...we have gone through a foreclosure...lost our house (not our home...that is still very much in tact...home is not a place...but where our hearts lie) we have almost lost a daughter...to terrible circumstances...and this past October...or company carpet cleaning van caught fire and burnt to the ground. In each circumstance...I felt overwhelming pain and sorrow...and yet...in each circumstance...we have been tremendously blessed too! When I look back on the year and a half that we fought to pay two house payments ($2200 for our mortgage...and $940 for the house that we rent) I remember thinking that it couldn't get any worse. The stress and toll that it took on our family to be so financially tight...and to go further into debt...just to pay for the basics like food and gas for our vehicles...not to mention never having food in our cupboards! I felt like a lead weight had been placed upon my heart...and that it would never be lifted! Then when we did everything within our power to try to short sale the house...and after all of our efforts...the bank took it back anyway...I felt like life was cruel! When I look back now though...I can see the wisdom that we gained...and the trust in the Lord to take care of our temporal needs...I wouldn't trade that blessing for anything! Then...Cosette fell over the wall...and you know the rest of the story. Although she was miraculously healed...it took several months for her to be herself again...and not to mention the strained relationship that we have had with our neighbors who own the dog. Yet...this very night at Midnight...I was standing outside with the very same neighbors who greeted me with love and complete acceptance...and I held my sweet daughter in my arms...completely whole and perfect...and she told them Happy New Year! I don't know a greater blessing then that one! Finally, when David first called to tell me that our carpet van had burnt to the ground...I cried from that moment...until three days later. I thought all was lost...the van that was supposed to help provide...not just one...but two families a living...was gone. Plus, to make matters worse...we owed $20,000 on it...and had no way to pay it back. We did not originally think that we would be insured to replace it...or at the very least pay off our debt. However, the Lord took a tragedy and turned it into a miracle...the insurance company paid everything off...and we found someone to contract all of our carpets out too...and all within a week of having the van burn down. If I have learned anything from all of these experiences...it has been that we do not know the will of the Lord...and we do not know why he does what he does in our lives. The only thing that we can be sure of...is his infinite love...and his desire to walk through the shadows of life by our side...if we will allow him too! I look at my life this New Year's Day...and in many respects...I am not satisfied with who I have become. I fail so often as a mother...it isn't even funny. I feel like any talents that I do have...I never get a chance to use them to bless other's lives. I am hopelessly flawed...but flawed or not...I know that I am not alone! I know that the precious Lord walks by my side every minute of every day! I know that he loves and accepts me...for all of my strengths and for all of my weaknesses! Thoughout every trial in my life...he has been there...giving me stength...his stength...and giving me courage to face whatever may come! He gives me a peace...that surpasses all explanation and all understanding! It fills my soul...and gives me the hope that I need to go on. I am so thankful for my Savior and his perfect love...I may not be much...but I am everything to him...and that is enough. The rest will all work itself out! So come what may "2009" - I will continue to walk with him...and when he knocks at the door of my heart...I will let him in! ~Christina

"Please Keep Us Safe"

2008-09-18T22:17:00.000-07:00

We are not a perfect family by any means...we were challenged by our Bishop to finish the Book of Mormon in one summer as a family...we got to Mormon by the end of August...YEAH! The only thing is that our Bishop issued that challenge two summers ago...oh well...you can't win them all! LOL! Anyway, that being said...we have been very good about having family prayer at least twice per day...usually morning and night! In every family prayer...whoever is offering the prayer...has always asked that each member of our family be kept safe throughout the day. Today...we have reason to rejoice for that blessing! David took Jared and the younger girls to the park tonight...and on his way home...Jared was standing up with his head out of the sun roof. (We sometimes let the kids do this just for fun as we turn onto our street and pull into our driveway) I'm not sure of the exact details, but as David was pulling into our driveway...he stopped pretty fast...and Jared's body lunged forward. Somehow, miraculously he just scraped the top of his head...instead of having his neck snapped. Just seconds before...his neck was right at the level of the edge of the sun roof...and it could have easily snapped his neck...or cut his throat. When David and the kids came in...we all gathered together as a family...and Jared offered a thank you prayer for saving his life. After the prayer...he said in the most innocent way, "Mom, I want to bear my testimony about this experience." Later he came up to me and said that during his prayer...he felt tears come to his eyes...and he asked me what that meant. I explained to him...that he was filling the spirit...and that it was confirming to him that the Lord had protected him...and that he was loved by his Heavenly Father. I am so thankful that Jared was protected...and I am ever grateful that through this experience he could gain a testimony that the Lord is aware of his needs...and loves and protects him. I pray that this testimony will carry on with him throughout his life upon the earth. Below is a "journal" page that he wrote and drew a picture of himself for...it is his own "testimony" about his experience. I hope you enjoy!

"The Many Masks of Motherhood"

2008-09-14T19:18:00.000-07:00

Motherhood brings many masks to wear throughout raising our kids! I remember that one of my favorite episodes of Little House on the Prarie - Laura Ingalls was about to get married to Almonzo Wilder...and she woke up one morning in tears. When her mother went to see what was wrong...she explained that if she got married...her life was over. She wanted to be a teacher...but if she got married and started having kids...her duty would be to her husband and her family first. Her mother laughed and explained that being a mother involved more then just raising kids...she said that when you are a mother...you end up being a teacher, counselor, doctor, and everything else that you can think of. I would like to add the modern day additon to Ma Ingall's insite...you also become a taxi driver too! J/K! Anyway, while being a mother has had many challenges...and I haven't always liked being a "mother" - I wouldn't trade it for the world. Below are some pictures of just such moments!

The creativity that my kids have amazes me...this is a picture of Jared's pirate costume...which consisted of blank paper and tape. He even got his arm in the right position when I took the picture...and while he was posed he even said with a ton of gusto..."Arrgh"!

One Sunday...Jared decided that he was mad at us...and that he wanted to run away from home. He took out all of his clean clothes from his drawer...and started packing his school back pack. The funniest thing was that he took the time to pack his Sunday clothes all by himself without any reminder from his parents. I guess we must be doing something right...if he can think to pack his Sunday clothes even when he is running away! LOL!

The above picture are the mood swings of an almost two year old! Savannah went from being extremely happy, to very defiant and angry, to finally crying her heart out...and ALL of these emotions happened within a three minute time frame! Motherhood is definitely NOT boring!

"Too Smart For Her Own Good"

2008-09-08T09:14:00.000-07:00

A story is told of David's brother John when he was about four years old. His Grandpa Allen was telling him to do something...and without missing a beat he put his hands on his hip and replied, "You don't tell me what to do!" I have always found that story to be amusing. I guess it must just be a "four year old" thing to do...or maybe it runs in the "Allen" blood, but we had a similar situation happen with our four year old daughter Cosette. Her primary teacher told me that one Sunday her class was watching a video of the Savior...I think it was a cartoon story of the Savior...and Cosette wouldn't watch the movie. She just kept talking non-stop...Sister Bodine leaned over and quietly whispered that she needed to stop talking...and watch the video. Cosette replied, "The more you tell me to stop talking...the more it just makes me want to talk!" I laughed so hard when Sister Bodine told me that story...it reminded me so much of her Uncle John! Cosette is definitely too smart for her own good! ~ Christina

"Out of the Mouth of Babes"

2008-09-07T23:19:00.001-07:00

Today was Fast Sunday and Jared wanted to bear his testimony in Sacrament. He wanted me to write on his hand the things that he wanted to say...so I did. He went up and waited his turn...and then when he got up to the podium...he read the two or three statements that I had written on his hand. He said that he would like to bear his testimony, that he knew the church was true, and that he was very excited for the time that he would get to be baptized. After he had read everything on his hand...you could see his little eyes full of panic. He looked over his hand a couple of times to make sure that he hadn't missed anything...and then he started to "wing" it! He said that he was thankful for President Monson...that he was the President...that we would be nothing without the prophet...and that he hoped that he would be with us forever...and then he said, "Amen". He was SOOOOOO brave and cute! Everybody chuckled when he first started reading from his hand because he just held it up high...and made no effort to hide that he was reading his testimony from it! I hope that Jared is ALWAYS filled with a desire to bear his testimony...and with the faith to do so without any fear! Everyone was touched by his sweet words...and by the manner which he expressed the feelings of his heart! Many people mentioned after Sacrament...that Jared's testimony would be talked about for a LONG time to come...and that it wouldn't be easily forgotten! I'm so thankful for his desire to bear his testimony...and pray that it will endure with him throughout his lifetime! ~ Christina

"Make Me Babies - TAKE TWO"

2008-08-17T23:01:00.000-07:00

My kids had so much fun watching me make Cosette's future children...that they each wanted one of their own! Below is the results of "Baby Making"! ENJOY!

ABOVE: Jonathan & Mary Kate Olsen

ABOVE: Lilli & Porter

ABOVE: Jared & Mrs. Black Bear (his choice by the way!)

*It was fun making them...it worked out best when we used "younger" pictures of the kids! Memories are FOREVER!

"Sweet Bertha"

2008-08-16T23:50:00.000-07:00

I met Bertha Montez about five years ago while I was teaching water aerobics at Ultra Fitness in Mesa. She was one of the participants of my class. She hardly speaks any English...and I hardly speak any Spanish...but somehow we became fast friends! I took four years of Spanish throughout High School and College...but I still speak at the level of a three year old! Somehow, I found out that she cleaned houses...and so I invited her over to clean mine...the rest is history! She has been cleaning my house for the last five years...but more importantly...she has become an extended member of our family. My kids love her and she loves them! She tries to teach them a few words here and there of Spanish...and in return...they always tell her, "Te Amo" or "I love you"! For many years I have felt a kindred spirit in Bertha...she has such a sweet spirit about her...and she is so generous and kind! She has done SOOOOOO much for my family...and I wanted to do something for her. She has often spoken of the special spirit that she feels within the walls of our home...and within the walls of my mom's home...and how peaceful and tranquil she feels while she is here. I have so badly wanted to share the gospel with her...and tell her that the peaceful feeling that she has felt...is the spirit...and that she can take it with her where ever she goes. This last Monday...I invited her to come to eat pizza with David, me and the kids...I also invited my mom and sister and her two girls. We ate at Pizza Mart on Main st. in Mesa and then went on a spanish tour at the Visitor Center. We watched a presentation in Spanish as well - that was about eternal families. At the end of the presentation...I did my best to bear my testimony in Spanish to my dear friend. I know that my words were limited...and my efforts were minimal in communicating what I felt...but somehow it didn't matter...somehow the spirit took over and testified of the truth of what I was saying. I told her that when Cosette had her accident and I didn't know whether she would live or die...that somehow I felt great peace because of the spirit of the Lord...and because I knew that no matter what happened...Cosette would be mine forever...and I would see her again. I told her that I knew the Savior lived...and that I have great faith that he walks with us through our trials and tribulations. I told her how much my family and I loved her...and how I hoped she could feel the same spirit that I was talking about. I was in tears...and I know that it touched her too! The missionary asked her if she would like to have the missionaries come into her home...and at first she was hesitant...she said that she was already a Christian and that she was happy where she was in her life...and with the church that she attended. The missionary asked her if she would like to know how to be even more happy...and she said yes. She accepted the missionaries! I know that this is just the beginning...but I pray that the right missionaries will be sent to her home...and that she will be able to gain a testimony of the truth of the gospel of Jesus Christ. No matter what happens...I will always cherish this sweet experience...and the fact that all of my kids were involved with it! I will ALWAYS love Bertha...no matter what choice she may make...and I will be forever grateful that the Lord brought her into our lives! I am not so much concerned if "this" time will turn into the "time" that brought her to the waters of baptism...because no matter what her choice...I know that she was touched and that it is just one more "seed" planted in her journey to the truth. Plus, I am at peace that I have done everything within my power to do my part to show her the way. The rest is up to the Lord's timing...and where Bertha is with things! Life is a journey...not a destination...and I am enjoying every step a long it's path! I would like my kids to know that I do believe that the Lord lives and loves us...no matter who we are or what we have done! I want them to know that I believe the Lord restored his church through a fourteen year old boy in the Sacred Grove! I want them to know that I know that the Lord is a merciful Savior filled with compassion and grace...and that if we will only turn to him throughout our lives...and give him the control of our lives...then he shall FOREVER walk by our sides...through the joy and the pain! He will lift us when we are faint...and carry us when we can no longer go on! This I testify in his holy name...even our Savior and Redeemer...Jesus Christ, Amen! ~Christina

"Make Me Babies"

2008-08-16T23:07:00.000-07:00

Today...I got online to see if there was any sites where you could submit two pictures of a boy and a girl and then see what their future children were supposed to look like. I tried it with David and I...but I think the "real" thing (or our own children) are much prettier then what the computer could generate! However, I put a picture of my daughter, Cosette, and a picture of the boy who she says that she is going to marry on...and their kids turned out BEAUTIFUL!! When Cosette was only a baby...around 8 months old...we were living with my mom at the time. I was really struggling with being overwhelmed constantly by having four small children...and especially with Cosette because she could be a handful! She was a GREAT baby...but she was very clingy...and I never got much of a break away from her. At the same time...my youngest brother started dating a girl named Nichole...and for some reason she and I hit it off right away. She LOVED Cosette...and for some strange reason...Cosette had no problem going to her. (She wouldn't do that with anyone but Nichole...usually I had her full time!) Nichole had just had a baby as a young teenager...and made the unselfish choice of giving that child up for adoption to an LDS couple who had been trying for years to have a baby. For anyone who has witnessed somebody who has given a baby up for adoption...they know of the extreme pain and suffering that the young mother goes through after the loss of her child. Nichole was no different! She was in a deep depression...and whenever she took Cosette...it seemed to alleviate some of her pain (or so she said!). The amazing thing was that each month Nichole would receive pictures of her son, Porter, who she had given up for adoption. On one occasion, we put Cosette up to the computer to look at a picture of Porter...without any prompting...Cosette touched the picture of Porter lovingly...and then kissed the screen all by herself. It was as if she recognized him...both me and Nichole were blown away. It was almost as if Porter and Cosette had know each other before they came to this Earth...and that Porter had known how much pain his sweet biological mother would be in after making the right decision to give him the best chance possible at a balanced life. It is almost as if he knew Cosette would be put into his mother's life...and that he asked her to comfort her and be there to ease the pain. The thing is...Cosette did just that...and Nichole eased my stress and pain as well! I feel so very blessed to have Nichole as a part of my life...and now she is married to Jason, my youngest brother, and they have a little girl together. The Lord's timing in things never ceases to amaze me! He knew that I was struggling as a young mother of four kids...and he knew that nobody else except Nichole could bond with Cosette so well and allow me to get the breaks that I so desparately needed at that time. Plus, he knew that Cosette...who is just a month and two weeks older then Porter...could help Nichole heal from the loss of her sweet little son. The Lord is truly merciful in his dealings with mankind...and I shall be forever grateful that he brought to struggling mothers together when they needed each other the most! We have since joked on a regular basis that someday Porter and Cosette will find each other once more and fall in love and get married! Cosette believes that with all of her four year old little heart...and fiercly defends that belief if anyone challenges it! It would be a RIOT if it actually happened...only time will tell! ~ Christina

"Passing the Sacrament"

2008-07-20T13:28:00.000-07:00

Today it worked out that Jonathan was able to pass the sacrament to our family. It was surreal seeing my son...dressed up in the white shirt and tie...and standing there revently waiting as we partook of the sacrament bread. Jonathan received the aaronic priesthood on June 8, 2008. It hardly seems possible that he is even old enough to be passing the sacrament! He is your typical 12 year old boy...teases his younger sibling unmercifully...makes obnoxious sounds and trys to assert his new found independence from his parents. There is also something not so typical about Jonathan. He is such a good older brother...and a wonderful example to his younger sisters and brother. When we ask him to do his chores or help out around the house...he always does what he is told the first time that he is asked. He has such a tender heart...and is always concerned about his younger siblings as well. He is especially protective over Cosette and Savannah. If they are missing for a long period of time...he is the first to ask where they are and then go check on them. When we first got pregnant with Jonathan...we were under the impression that he would be a girl. It is not that we didn't want a boy...but we had discussed in length about naming our first daughter Lillian after David's aunt. When we went into the ultra sound...the tech asked if we wanted to know the sex of the baby...we said that we thought it might be a girl...and then she said..."Well you better think of some boy names as well!" I remember looking at David and his mouth was almost hanging to the floor in shock. We were quick to get excited about having a son first...and named him before he was even born. We named him Jonathan after the biblical "Jonathan" who was King David's best friend. King David had always had a special place in David's heart...and he wanted to reflect that in the choosing of his first born child's name. So on June 6, 1996...Jonathan David Allen was born...and here he is 12 years later...our little deacon...almost a young man...time goes by to fast! When he was set apart...he was told in his blessing to always honor the women in his life...especially his mother, sisters and future companion. I was grateful that the Lord took the time to let Jonathan know how important the "women" in his life are. I have no doubt that he will ALWAYS honor the women in his life. Jonathan, we are so very grateful for your righteous example to our family each day...and that you have chosen to receive the priesthood and become a deacon. Never forget the special day when you received one of the greatest gifts a man can receive in this life my son...always honor the priesthood and it will always honor you! We love you so very much and are so proud of you...always remember that! Love Your Parents!

"Jared, My Jared"

2008-07-20T12:23:00.000-07:00

My Mom coined the phrase, "Jared, my Jared." Ever since then David and I have copied her and used that special phrase on several occasions. We also like to call him JarJar Binks...after the Star Wars Character JaJa Binks. He kind of personifies the same personality as Ja Ja Binks...plus....Ja Ja Binks is my favorite character in Star Wars. Ja Ja Binks is spotaneous and impulsive...and he doesn't think before he says things out loud...Jared is very much the same way. He is the "clown" of our family and without him...life would be truly boring and mundaying! Today at church Jared's teacher came up to me and told me a really cute story about just such a situation. Brother Martinez said that he passed out "smarties" the little candies that come rolled up in a little tube. He told his students that he had just read the label and noticed that it said "smarties" on it. He mentioned that maybe that meant that after you ate them that you would get smarter. Jared took him up on his offer and ate some of his candies. After a few minutes, he turned to Brother Martinez and said in all seriousness..."I don't think it makes you more smart because I ate some...and I do not feel any smarter" That is Jared in a nutshell! Jared is also a very good artist...and loves to drawa for hours and hours. Below is one of the pictures that he colored at church today...We LOVE JARED OUR JARED!!!

"Mighty Mud Mania ~ 2008"

2008-07-19T23:27:00.000-07:00

Every year in July they have a HUGE mud festival in Scottsdale at Chapparal Park. I have seen the advertisement in the newspaper for several years and wanted to go...but never got around to it. As you can see from the pictures below we went this year. It was Fantastic! It was so well organized and fun. My kids went with their cousin, the Freestones, who are about their same ages. They had a blast together...racing through the mud obsticle course...and playing in the mud hole. It was an experience that we won't soon forget!

"A Decade Gone By"

2008-07-19T23:04:00.001-07:00

It is hard to believe that Lilli turned TEN YEARS OLD this year!! I honestly do not know where the time goes too! At times it seems like "motherhood" will last FOREVER...but then you turn around and 10 years has gone by already. I recently was watching some video footage of Lilli when she was about 4 years old...she was singing some primary songs...like Popcorn Popping on the Apricot Tree...and it was so cute. For some reason it really grabbed my heart and I got all teary eyed. It put in perspective the time that had passed...and how my little girl is turning into a young woman with each passing year. David also got some video footage of her when she was about 3 years old and in in she is wearing some fake eye glasses with coke bottle lenses...her eyes looked ENORMOUS! She folds her arms and without closing her eyes or missing a beat says a little prayer...Heavenly Father, thank you for mommy/daddy and Jonathan...name of Jesus Christ, Amen. I know that I will settle back into the routine of everyday life...and before you know it...I will blink and my sweet daughter will be kneeling across the alter in the temple...being sealed to her eternal sweetheart for eternity. I pray between now and then...I may stop to "smell the roses" and enjoy these years while she is still ours to enjoy! We made her cake from a cake mix...and this was the FIRST cake that I actually made the frosting from scratch. I made it out of butter, powdered sugar, milk, and vanilla. It came out pretty dang good...if I do say so myself! After that...Lilli and I decorated the cake with different sprinkles and stars. We only had three candles...and NO matches...so we sang Happy Birthday to her and she pretended to blow out the candles and make a wish. I hope that ALL of her dreams and wishes come true! We love her so very much...and our family would NOT be the same without her! HAPPY BIRTHDAY LILLI BUGS!!!! Love Mom

"I Don't Want to Forget the Little Things..."

2008-07-10T20:42:00.000-07:00

Savannah does NOT like to stay in her highchair...when she is done...she stands up and yells, "PEASE MOMMY...PEASE ONT OUT" Today I put her in her highchair for a few minutes so I could change out of my wet clothes. I even gave her a cookie to keep her occupied. She couldn't wait even then! This is how I found her...attempting to escape...but too tired to succeed! She fell asleep trying...good thing she balanced herself enough to not fall over! ~Christina

"Summer Snowball Fight in July"

2008-07-10T19:36:00.000-07:00

So what happens when you take 120 snowballs, 11 kids, 2 adults, and one HOT summer? Well...the only thing that can happen...a HUGE SNOWBALL FIGHT! I have never really enjoyed snowball fights in the winter...it is just too cold! Somehow though, when you have one in 108 degree heat...it is just plain FUN!!!

Even the adults joined in on this one...by the time we were all done...which seemed like 2.4 seconds...give or take a few seconds...we were ALL drenched!

Lilli Swears that she didn't have any fun...but could that be a smile on her face as she dodges a snowball?! Hmmmm...VERY interesting!

Thank GOODNESS Jared wasn't a very good AIM...or I'd be in BIG trouble!!

I think Cosette held the same snowball in her hand the whole time...in the end...she was the only one left with ammo!
Savannah didn't want anything to do with the snowball fight...she cried most of the time! This picture was taken right after she got hit with a snowball. They say a "picture" is worth a thousand words...I agree!

We had a FABULOUS time and I can't wait to do it again next summer...for those of you wondering...you can purchase snowballs from Bahama Bucks for about $13...that gives you an ice chest full of 60 snowballs! It is WELL worth the money!

"Summer Memories"

2008-06-29T16:21:00.000-07:00

So I mentioned in my very first blog that we went swimming this summer at a customer's pool. It wasn't just any pool though...it had a 15 foot water fall to jump off of and a long slide from the jacuzzi to the deep end of the pool! This is Jonathan flexing his muscles as he bravely jumps off!

Not all of us were brave enough to pull off this daring feat...but just like always...Jared had NO problem! He was one of the first ones to jump...that is "my" Jared...not afraid of anything...although it could be he never thinks things through until after he does them. LOL!

We invited family and friends...and had a GREAT time. This is a picture of Clint Hawkins...we have known his sweet family since living in our first apartment in Mesa...just after getting married. He brought his three children, Dallin, Hannah and Haylee...only he and Dallin were brave enough to jump off the water fall. In fact, later that evening...Clint got so brave that he went running off the cliff with a basketball in his hand...and as he plunged to bottom of the pool...he would throw the basket ball across the pool and try to make a basket. He came dang close too!

This is Clint's son, Dallin, taking a running jump off the water fall. He and Clint had a contest to see who could get the farthest into the pool. Personally, I think Dallin won that contest!

Lilli wanted to jump off from the very beginning, but when she got to the top...she couldn't get herself to do it. She stayed at the edge looking off for about 20 minutes. Everybody was cheering her on and encouraging her to do it...even Aunt Kelyn offered to go off with her while holding her hand...but even that didn't convince her. She finally jumped all by herself...we were very proud of her!

After David parachuted out of a plane a few years ago...I thought his days of accomplishing daring stunts were over. Yet here he is...my brave man...taking the plunge to certain death. I'm so proud to be married to such a brave soul!

Cosette didn't want to jump off the cliff...but she had no problem going down the long slide with her Daddy! Savannah even went down a couple of time with me!

Aunt Kelyn was the bravest of us all! Not only did she jump off the cliff several times...many times while holding my hand...she also did several dives off of the water fall and flips! GOOOO KELYN!!

We had an excellent time this evening...in fact many people mentioned as we were leaving...that it was one of their best times ever! Summertime is all about creating lasting memories with family and friends...that sure happened on this evening! ~ Christina

WHO CAME: Scott & Melissa, Madison, Brooklyn, Hunter, and Elizabeth, Spencer & Kelyn Allen, Samuel and Issac, Sean & Sonja Eames, Jason, Jackson, and Tyler, Clint Hawkins, Dallin, Hannah, and Haylee, Grandma Sellers, David and Christina Allen, Jonathan, Lilli, Jared, Cosette and Savannah!

"Endure to the End"

2008-06-29T00:11:00.000-07:00

I have mentioned frequently on this blog about how hard it is to be a "mom" and not long for something more. At the very least...a job where you are not told three times a day how horrible you are...and that you stink at what you do! LOL! Anyway, tonight I had it out with my nine year old daughter (Lilli) and somehow in the process ended up getting my finger smashed in her door. One more battle wound to brag about in my older years I guess. (Smile!) Whenever this kind of thing happens...which is way more frequently then I would like...I tend to feel inadequate and unfulfilled. Tonight was not different...I remember praying in my heart to my Heavenly Father to remove these feelings of hopelessness...and to fill my heart instead with his peace and unconditional love. I prayed for him to open my eyes...and help me be grateful for what I have right now in this moment. David and I were going out for a late night dinner...but at the moment that I was praying in the car...he was talking to my brother-in-law, Zyad, and asking him if he and my sister Tricia would like to join us. I watched him laughing and conversing with Zyad...and suddenly my answer to my prayers came. The spirit whispered in my ear...you have a husband who doesn't "give up" but endures to the end. My heart was full...and my gratitude for what I have...right in this moment came! I do have a husband who doesn't give up or run for cover...but one who patiently...even sometimes painfully...continues forward on the path back to our Heavenly Father! Every marriage is filled with challenges and peaks and valleys...my marriage has not been any different! We have truly been put through the ringer throughout our almost 14 years of marriage! We have had some really HIGH highs, and some really LOW lows! Throughout it all...David has stood by my side...and together we have worked through whatever has come into our pathway! I have seen sorrow when a spouse "gives" up and doesn't endure to the end. I have seen my sister-in-law go through a divorce because her husband decided that he wanted to be with somebody else....and I have had my best friend go through a divorce because her husband chose to leave the church and afterward became too difficult to work things out with. I have seen the deep pain and sorrow that both of these women have had to endure...and it makes me even more grateful for the husband that I have...who keeps getting knocked down in the ring...but yet gets up and continues the fight! David is my Hero! Though we have both caused each other probably the "greatest" pain in each other's lives...we have also been fortunate to have shared some of the deepest joy as well. He is my best friend...my ALL...and my heart rejoices ever more that the Lord put us together. I know that we still have many mountains to climb...and many rough edges to rub off each other...but there is NO one that I would rather do that with. I'm thankful to the Lord this night...that when his daughter cried out for her eyes to be opened and her heart to be softened...he did so...with the realization of what a wonderful husband I truly have! My heart is full of peace...and I feel his unconditonal love for me! May we ALL endure to the end is my humble prayer! ~ Christina

"Twelve Lean Summers - One of Plenty"

2008-06-22T21:16:00.000-07:00

We have owned our business for the past twelve years...it has been a miraculous time and a time for growing and learning! When we first began Allen Brother's Cleaning...we paid Newell and Kathy Slade $3000 for 150 clients. We have since grown to over 500 clients and continue to add new customers each year! When you are self-employed...the sky is the limit! You can make as little as you want or as much...however...with window cleaning...there is a catch! You literally have to save for a "rainy" day! Every summer since we have owned the business has been the same...we do really well through June and part of July...and then everything STOPS! The monsoon arrives...and literally scares everybody off...I mean who wants to pay to have their windows cleaned...only to have the dust of a summer storm hammer them? Well, we learned really quickly after the first two summers to save during our times of plenty for the couple of months that we make hardly anything. Even so, summers have always been really tight for us financially...and have not been considered the funnest time of the year. I just took for granted that this is the way it has been...and that it is the way that it will always be. This summer...something happened to me mentally...I watched a video where they mentioned that every thought that we have has a frequency...and that when we focus on something...it sends out that frequency into the universe. If we focus on debt...whether it be getting out of debt or getting into debt..."debt" is all we will attract because it is all that we are thinking about! Instead we should put a financial plan into action...and then concentrate on what we really want...like being financially free! Suddenly, something in my brain came alive...it said that I do not have to accept the circumstances that each "dry" summer brings...but that I can create my own reality. I may not have money coming out of my pockets...but I can choose to rise above the depression and hopelessness that accompanys such "dry" summers. Instead of concentrating on where the money to buy groceries or pay the rent is going to come from...I can let go of those worries...and let the Lord take care of them...just like he always has! My only responsibility is to act on the inspiration that he gives me to take care of those things. I still open the refrigerator and see empty shelves...but instead of getting discouraged...now I close my eyes and picture a refrigerator bursting with good food! I picture the table set with yummy meals and exquisite desserts...I allow my heart and soul to take it all in and feel the feelings as though they are real. Granted, when I open my eyes...the refrigerator is still empty...but my heart is full of hope and promise. Until my desires and wishes come true...I turn to what I do have now...and let my heart concentrate on the gratitude that I have for those things. I have found that no matter what your circumstances or situation...you can always have "plenty" - instead of "little"! I look forward to this summer with great expectations and a heart full of hope...after a long summer of discouragement! ~ Christina

"Keeping Cool"

2008-06-20T23:06:00.001-07:00

I was born in Arizona and raised in this heat my entire life. After 33 years...I still HATE it! I am always trying to find activities for the kids - in order to keep them busy and not "bored"! (Please refer to my blog about Summer Vacation?!) Today we went to Cinemark Movie Theatre to watch, "Kung Fu Panda". The Kids really enjoyed it...after we came out into the heat...and low and behold...in the middle of the plaza was a built in water feature where kids could play! Here are some pictures of Jared and Cosette doing just that...the pictures speak for themselves!

Jared seemed to enjoy combining the Kung Fu that he had just seen in the movie with getting wet and having fun! All Cosette would do is just scream! At least I got a picture of her...before she let me have it! Summer memories are indeed "SWEET"!! Keep Cool my friends and family!

~ Christina

"From The Ashes"

2008-06-20T20:36:00.000-07:00

"Cosette B-4 the Accident"

It is said that from the ashes of our trials can come some of the most wonderful moments of our lives...I believe this to be true. Cosette looked just like a porcelain doll when she was born...with her white, creamy complexion and her stunning, light blue eyes...she captured everybody's heart that met her...and still does! Her Great Grandma Allred mentioned that she was perfect...just like a porcelain doll...and she couldn't believe that Cosette had to go through so much pain and forever bear scars on her body. Cosette STILL looks like a porcelain doll...but now she is Eternally touched by a loving Father in Heaven! David blessed her that while she was still very young...she would be blessed to establish a strong relationship with her Father in Heaven...and through this experience...she has done just that!

We waited almost seven hours to see our sweet baby again...after they wheeled her away for surgery from the Emergency Room. I cannot describe the literal hell it is to wait in a cold hospital waiting room and not know whether you are going to see your child again or not. Even though it was hard to see her like this...I was just grateful to be able to "see" her. Her face was swollen, and she was unconscious...but she was one of the most BEAUTIFUL sites that my eyes have beheld...in my entire life! The only other event in my life that could come close to how special this one was...was when I was across the alter from David in the Mesa temple...and I saw FOREVER in his eyes!

"Cosette Just After Surgery"

To this day I get physically sick and want to throw up whenever I think about the accident or seeing my daughter's throat in the mouth of my neighbor's dog. It makes me want to just fall to the ground and weep like a baby! There are SO many emotions that come with an incident like this. First, there is the overwhelming fear that grips our hearts and paralyzes our minds! Then, there is the drowning sorrow that threatens to take away any "hope" we may have left. Next, there is the fierce anger at the circumstances which have transpired...and the desire to destroy the very thing that almost took your child's life. Finally, there is peace...the kind of peace that fills the soul and drives out any other dark feelings or hopelessness. With that peace comes understanding, acceptance, and finally forgiveness! It was the hardest seeing Cosette like this...completely immobilized and helpless! She couldn't even breathe on her own! She couldn't wake up and acknowledge that we were there...she just laid there for three days and suffered. This experience has taught me that we have NO control over what happens in our lives! We may have the illusion that somehow we can protect our children and keep them out of harm's way...but only the Lord has the power to do that. All we can do is submit to his will and ask EVERY day for his gracious love and protection! The ONLY control we have is whether or not we turn our hearts away from our Lord in times of tribulation...or fall to our knees and plead for his divine peace and understanding! Our family will always cherish the things which we have learned from this experience...and I pray that we may NEVER forget the lessons that have written themselves on our hearts. Most importantly, that we are NOT alone...and that a loving Heavenly Father watches over us and is ALWAYS there with open arms to soothe our troubled hearts and mend our souls!

The body is an amazing thing...the way that it can take so much trauma and pain...and yet begin again to heal itself...is nothing short of a miracle. I remember coming into the Pediatric ICU and seeing Cosette off of the breathing machine...and using an Oxygen mask. I was ecstatic...and even more excited to hold her for the first time!

Holding your child for the first time...after you have thought that you may never be able to hold her again in this life...is BEYOND words! I wasn't able to cuddle with my daughter for at least three days! Those days were filled with anguish and sorrow at seeing our precious little girl in so much pain! She was completely helpless...and it made it worse to not be able to hold her close and comfort her. When she was on the breathing machine...all I could do was stroke her sweet hand and whisper in her ear how much her Daddy and I loved her. I shall NEVER forget the glorious day when they allowed her to be placed in my arms once more...no words can express what it meant to me in that moment...as her mother to hold her close once more! I'm ever grateful for that moment and shall cherish it for as long as I live!

So many people came to our aid and served our sweet family...during this time of great trial and sadness! From the many people (including Bishop Free and Bishop Shreeve) who came to visit Cosette in the hospital...to the members of our ward relief society that didn't even ask...but came in one day and cleaned my whole house while we were at the hospital! We had meals every night...and one of our most special guests was one of our very good friends, Ahtanya Riggs! She has experience a child who was near death and spent a considerable amount of time in the ICU! Here she is reading to Cosette from a book that she brought for her! Cosette still loves to have us read that same book, "Merry Christmas, Curious George" to this day...it is one of her favorites! My heart cannot express the gratitude we feel for everybody who serve our family or for all of the people who kept us in their prayers. My life will NEVER be the same after this out pouring of love and service! We are FOREVER grateful!!

Shortly before her accident...Cosette refused to let us call her by her given name. Instead she would say, "NO, Don't call me Cosette - my name is PRINCESS!" We would just laugh and love every minute of it! She even introduced herself to strangers by "Princess". When we brought her home from the hospital...after seven long days...we made sure that she fit the part of a Princess! My mom and sister Tricia bought her the dress and a Tiara. I bought her some sparkly shoes that had the Disney Princesses inside the sole. She is truly a "princess" - she is a daughter of God - and I know that he loves her as much as we do! I'm so thankful to still have our "Princess" with us!

The name Cosette means, "Victorious People". I believe that her name fits her well...especially after the resilient spirit that she has shown in the face of adversity. There are many reasons that Cosette is still with us...number one is that the Lord is merciful and gracious...number two is that she definitely has a purpose on this Earth...and number three is that she has a determined spirit - which does not allow her to give up easily! She will always carry the scars of her ordeal...but we have told her over and over again... that they are BEAUTIFUL reminders that the Lord loves her dearly and cared enough to preserve her life so that she could fulfill her mission here on Earth!

"The Past 10 Years"

2008-06-20T01:34:00.000-07:00

"Summer" Vacation?!

2008-06-19T22:13:00.000-07:00

I used to love summer vacation as a child...a whole three months without school...what could be better? I never understood why my mom would hesitate when I asked her if she was excited that school was out...I think that I am beginning to understand why now. Whenever I start getting notices in my kid's back packs that remind me that school is out soon and they need to get their library books returned...or their back packs come home with all of their school supplies...I begin to panic! It amounts to 2 1/2 months of being told a hundred times a day..."I'm board, I'm board, I'm board!" No matter what activities are planned...if there is ever a dull minute...I hear these magical words. Next, if my kids are board...what do you think they do about it? That would be summed up in "one" word...FIGHT! Summers are definately hard on mothers...no wonder we start doing a dance of celebration when our kids finally go back to school. Now that I have had my "vent" session...I really am proud of my kids and all of the activities they are doing to keep busy. Jonathan and Lilli are both in swim team...and go work out at 6:30 and 7:30 in the morning...Monday - Thursday. Jonathan is busy working hard to progress towards his black belt in karate class. He barely started this May...as a WHITE belt...he immediatly tested and got his YELLOW belt...and now on Saturday he is going to test for his ORANGE belt...he is a determined little man! Lilli is taking horse back riding lesson with my Sister Tricia...and from what I hear is a "natural" at it! Jared is busy attending a summer reading program at MacArthur...and always coming up with creative ways to express himself! Cosette and Savannah are inseperable...they have a love/hate relationship...and stick to eachother throughout the day. We have been blessed to have some really GREAT kids! They have their moments...like every child does...but they have the most loving, and tender hearts that a parent could ask for! I know that it seems like summer will drag on forever...but I'm sure I'll wake up soon one morning and rush my kids off to school. Then I will sit down on the couch and enjoy the silence...until Cosette and Savannah wake up! LOL!! ~ Christina

Gratitude

2008-06-15T02:21:00.000-07:00

We had a family party at a very wealthy customers house today. They have a really cool pool with a 15 foot cliff to jump off of. We invited friends and family and had a really wonderful time. Somewhere in all of the fun...I was told by one of our friends that a common friend of ours had lost their daughter just three weeks ago. Aparantly, she choked on an apple slice and was later taken off life support a week later. I went to this common friend's blog to check it out and watched the tribute to their sweet two year old daughter from the funeral. My heart was torn in two for this sweet little family and what they are going through! Perhaps, at some other time...I would not understand how great there pain might be...but circumstances in the last year have left me very much more knowledgeable about their situation! On November 19, 1007 - our sweet liitle daughter, Cosette, fell over our back yard fence into a neighbor's yard and was attacked by a dog. My six year old ran in to tell me that she had fallen over the fence and by the time I ran out to get her...the neighbor's dog had her throat in his mouth and was shaking her. I still do not know how I jumped over the fence, but I did! Call it the adreneline or the Lord's help...maybe both...but I scaled that fence in seconds! I landed right into the neighbor's cacti...but I didn't feel the stickers penetrate my skin until much, much later. The only thing that I was thinking of was saving my daughter from that dog. The dog to it's credit backed off when I reached her and by some miracle...my oldest son Jonathan, who had just gotten home from playing with a friend, heard us in the back yard and also scaled the fence. He warded off the two dogs...while I looked for a way to get Cosette out of the situation. I ran to the back door of my neighbor's house. It was a glass door and the T.V. was on...I thought surely somebody had to be home. (Later I found out that they keep the T.V. running to keep the dogs company) I pounded on the door as loud as I could with one hand...while trying desparately to stop the bleeding from Cosette's neck. Nobody answered...so I ran to the back gate...it was locked with a padlock. I started screaming, "SOMEBODY HELP ME...PLEASE...SOMEBODY HELP ME!" All the while, the dogs were still trying to nip at Cosette's toes and Jonathan (my savior at that time) kept kicking them away. By then my outfit was drenched in Cosette's blood...her eyes were rolling back into her head and she was quietly calling out for me to help her. She was Wheezing...and I knew that she couldn't breathe good. She never lost comple consciencness, but she definately wasn't completly aware and alert either. By some miracle...my next door neighbor behind us had heard the commotion and come out to see what was going on. By then I was panicked and not thinking clearly. Adam told me to hand Cosette over to him...so he could take her across the street to Garth Liecthy who was a Physician's Assistant. I didn't want to let her go...somewhere in my mind...I didn't want to let her go...I think that I wasn't sure if I would see her alive again or not...and I didn't want to let her pass on without being in my arms. That is the only logical explanation that I can think of...why else did it take him several times to tell me to give her to him. I finally handed her off to Adam and he took her right away to Garth. I told Jonathan to grab my cell phone so we could call 911. He ran in and grabbed it off the kitchen counter...and brought it back to me. He handed it to me over the fence (I was still in my neighbor's yard at that time) and he hopped up onto the top of the fence and stradled it with both legs. He just sat there filled with an anger that I have never seen in such a young child...he definately wanted to kill those dogs for hurting his little sister. I called 911...but I was a basket case! It took me awhile to spit out what had happened and where we were. I was suprised when after only a couple of minutes...the 911 operator told me that help was on the way and then hung up. I always expected them to stay on the phone with you until the help arrived. She was right...I heard the sirens...and the fire department showed up first. By this time, Sister Harvey, who lives across the street was in my back yard and asking me how she could help. I asked her if she could take my kids...until my Mom could relieve her. She agreed and started to coax Jonathan off the wall. It took her several tries...and she had to force him to make eye contact with her...before he would even move. I jumped over the fence and ran around the corner to see what Cosette's prognosis was. Garth and Kelly Gleve, another neighbor, had her in their arms and were trying to stop the bleeding. Kelly asked me if they could give her a quick blessing and I agreed. Kelly ran to get some annointed oil and I just fell to my knees and wept like a baby. I think that I was going into shock too. Kelly came back and asked what her full name was. I said, "Cosette Elizabeth Allen." They gave her a very quick blessing, I don't even remember what they said, and handed her off to the paramedics. The paramedics asked if I wanted to ride to the hospital with her and I said yes. They took one look at me and asked me to change my clothes and hurry up. I ran into my home and took off my shirt...which was completly soaked in blood. I looked down at my white pants and they too were soaked in Cosette's blood. I ended up just changing my shirt, I grabbed my purse and her insurance card...and ran to the ambulance. They took her to Maricopa Medical Hospital...which was 15 minutes away. I was sitting in the front seat and all I could do is look thru a little window at my daughter who by this time had wires everywhere and a breathing mask on. I kept saying out loud over and over again...please don't let her die God...please don't take her from me...not now...not yet! Somehow, I got myself together enough to make a couple of phone calls...I called David to let him know what had happened and to meet me at the hospital (he had taken Lilli out for some father/daughter bonding time and wasn't there when everything happened) then I called my Mom and asked her to meet me at the hospital...and my in - laws...and finally my best friend to pick up my kids. It seemed like it took forever to get to the hospital...but finally we arrived. They took Cosette in right away on a stretcher...and then I had to fill out paper work and couldn't be with her. Finally, the adreneline started to fade...and I noticed that my leg was in some pain. I looked down and noticed the cactus thorns in my ankle and foot. (My sister-in-law, Starla, ended up digging out about 87 cactus thorns a week later!) I asked them if they had any tweezers and if I could borrow some extra pants...mine were filled with cactus thorns. They gave me a pair of tweezers and donated a pair of scrub pants for me to wear. When I changed out of my blood soaked pants...I just threw them in the garbage because I didn't want any memory of Cosette bleeding to death in my arms. They asked me if I wanted to be admitted to the hospital for my cactus thorns...I kindly thanked them...but said that I wanted to be available for my daughter. By the time that I got to see Cosette again...David had arrived with his Dad...and both my in-laws and David and I went back to see her. I could tell that David was very shaken up when he saw sweet Sette (our pet name for her) because he had tears in his eyes and he just kept rubbing her foot. I have hardly ever seen him cry in 13 years of marriage...maybe twice. Cosette had also cracked her forehead open on the way down from the fence and had a huge gash from the top of her forehead...almost down to the top of her nose...it was really ghastly. She was still bleeding from her neck wounds and her right hand was swollen and pierced with teeth marks. She was definately a scarey sight to see! David and his Dad gave Cosette another blessing...in which David promised Cosette complete healing...to the point that it would almost be like it never happened. He promised her that the Doctor's hands would be guided if she needed surgery...and that she would be blessed with peace and comfort. It was a beautiful blessing...I shall never forget it for as long as I live! After we let my mom and a few other family members come into the emergency room and see Cosette...the doctors said that they needed to take her in for surgery. As they were wheeling her away for surgery...she said something to David and I...which at first we couldn't understand. She removed her oxygen mask and as we drew closer to her...she whispered in the most calm, sweetest voice..."Doggie hurt me, Daddy" "Doggy hurt me." Then she replaced her mask and bravely looked at us while they wheeled her away. When she spoke to us...it sounded almost like she was just expressing to us...something that someone had explained to her. She had an angelic, peaceful spirit about her...and we truly believe that she was with somebody...both during the accident and after! We all waited in the family waiting room while they performed surgery on our sweet, brave daughter. We were told that the surgery would take about an hour and a half...but two hours later...we were still waiting for any news at all about her progress. Finally, at about midnight most of our family and friends were about to leave home...when someone came out to explain what was going on. The doctor told us that they had to repair her jugular vein both on the front side and on the back. Her jugular vein was pierced by the dog's teeth twice, and her trachea was pierced four times. They were still in surgery...it ended up taking them between four and six hours to repair all of the damage done. Everybody else went home...except my mom and I. We waited a couple hours more while they moved Cosette to the Pediatric ICU. The total damage done besides her jugular vein and trachea being pierced, and her forehead being cracked open...was a fractured skull...in the back of her head where the dog had bit her...and a fractured jaw where the dog had bit her cheek. Plus, she had multiple bit wounds on her back, hands and neck. When my mom and I first saw her...she was completely swollen around the face...and she was wrapped up in a blanket to keep her warm. I just cried and held her hand. I was so tired...but I didn't want to leave her side. My mom convince me to get some sleep and to return early the next morning. I finally relented and we drove home...needless to say...I didn't sleep very well that night! We returned the next day...and she was still non-responsive...but now they had her on a breathing ventilator to help her breathe. It was one of the scariest sites to see your child laying, helpless in a hospital bed with tubes coming out of her nose...and an I.V. in her fragile little arm. She only weighed 25 lbs at the time. After the surgery...they ended up giving her three units of blood because she had lost so much. We were also told later that when they went in to probe the jugular vein for surgery...there was a clot that came lose...and she started bleeding profusely. Thankfully, she was at the hospital...and they could do something to save her life! I was also told that it is very rare for the jugular vein to clot like that because of all of the pressure in the vein...it hardly ever happens! Garth told us that if her jugular vein hadn't clotted when it did...she would have been dead within minutes after the dog attacked her and I picked her up. I truly believe with all of my heart that the blessing that Garth and Kelly gave her at the scene of that accident...and later the blessing that David and his Dad gave to her at the hospital...saved her life. She is truly a miracle!! I guess that tonight when I heard about the sweet baby of our friend dying...so young...and in such an inordinary way...it made me realize that our situation could have turned out so much differently then it did. I don't know why the Lord chose to take sweet "Lucy" and spare our Cosette...but I know that he has his purposes...and that only he knows the beginning from the end...and what those purposes are. My heart goes out to Vic and his wife! I was fortunate enough to not have to bury my child...but I can relate to the fear of having something happen...which is out of our control...and not knowing what the Lord's will is. The rest...I have no idea...like I said...I can't even imagine their pain and grief! I pray that the Lord's peace will be with them...and help them thru this terrible time in their lives! Everytime I look at Cosette...I am grateful that she is still here! She has a pupose here on Earth...just like I'm sure Lucy has a purpose in Heaven. It is not ours to question...but it is ours to take NOTHING for granted...not even ONE precious moment in our lives...for it may be our last! May God be with whoever reads this...and may you be grateful for every breath you take! ~Christina
P.S. A side note to all of this...is later when Cosette came home and could talk again...she said out of the blue one day...remember when you rescued me Mama? Remember when I died and you jumped over the fence to rescue me from the doggie? (The only way she could of seen me...is if she had been watching me from above) I truly believe that angels walked with her that day...and am ever grateful for that knowledge! ~ Christina